Awaken The Idiot

Nothing beats playing a silly game with my wife before we crash. Ovenbreak Lite for iPhone and iTouch. Therapeutic. I miss being idiotic.

Idols

Ezekiel 20:31-32

30-31 “Therefore, say to Israel, ‘The Message of God, the Master: You’re making your lives filthy by copying the ways of your parents. In repeating their vile practices, you’ve become whores yourselves. In burning your children as sacrifices, you’ve become as filthy as your no-god idols—as recently as today!

“‘Am I going to put up with questions from people like you, Israel? As sure as I am the living God, I, God, the Master, refuse to be called into question by you!

32 “‘What you’re secretly thinking is never going to happen. You’re thinking, “We’re going to be like everybody else, just like the other nations. We’re going to worship gods we can make and control.”

This passage spoke to me today. It never occurred to me that making an idol is as easy as choosing only to obey what I’m comfortable with. Or feeling very uncomfortable when I’m not in control of situations. The people wanted a god they could control. In many ways when I formulate a version of god who is tolerant of sin, I am effectively creating an idol. God I want to acknowledge You to be in full control over my life, show me ways where subtly I have created idols which displease You.

God in my Dessert

Sitting on my bed in my room with the lights off… Such moments make me so happy.
This evening after reading the bible I just felt sad, sad that in a 24hr-day I have spoken to God less than a 5 good minutes. I wonder to myself, is it practical to have a strong spiritual life in Singapore? I wish my days were filled with quality moments of communion with God but at the end of the day, more often than not, I reduce it to a form of bible reading which feels as if I’m trying to pacify God, as if trying to keep Him company and then go to sleep.
As I dragged my feet out for a bowl of sweet potato soup dessert, I felt so tired. I sat down for the dessert with my parents and shuz. As I looked around, I realized actually God is everywhere. He blesses me with a lovely family, a lovely bowl of dessert and a comfortable home. As I reached to close the windows before I switched on the air con, I felt a breeze and I stood there for a while more, that was Him! It felt so good to know God has always been here and near. That if I payed attention to the many things happening around me, QT need not be so hard, giving thanks will not be such a discipline anymore.

To my lovely wife: it’s been 5 mths since we got married. I just wanted to tell you you are God’s gift to me. Thank you for loving and caring for me. I was really sooo happy to see you just now!

Taking Stock

Back sliding starts with allowing things to slip. I need to put a little more thought on how money is spent. A little more thought on the kinds and quantity of food I’m eating. The time I spend in front of the computer, the hours I spend in a day at work allowing my mind to wander. The frequency of family time. The amount of time spent reading the bible. The quality of time devoted to being still. I need to put in a little more thought and not allow the little things to slip.

Growth

If not in tough times then when?

I have to stop whining.

Work & Kids (sounds like I’ve been married for years)

Ever since market place seminar, I have gone back to work with a renewed mindset. I went back to work remembering my creation calling. Which is to work, to tend the garden of Eden. I went back to work thinking about how to create value and how I can be an excellent Christian in actively doing that. Somehow all of these seem to click, all of it seems to be one and the same. Somehow when I try to practice all of it, I sense God’s smile.

This week has been tiring. It’s been sometime since I woke up at 620 for work. There was one day this week when I had to wake up earlier to go to a very far place to work. Also, somehow we had to perform a lot of IT solution brain-storming. I’m really feeling the effects of it. Yesterday, I think the tiredness got the better of me and I flared up at my super nice colleague. He must have been shocked. Thank God for lunch break. During lunch we talked a bit and the situation became less tense.

Shuz recently asked me if I would like to have a kid. I guess must be after baby sitting the super cute and handsome baby Jonathan. Anyway, she asked me why I was hesitant and I thought for a while about it. It’s kinda strange, but I realized I was actually quite scared of leaving them behind after I die. I was quite afraid of the pain which comes when you leave a loved one and was trying to avoid the situation where I would have to be separated from them.

Ok here’s the part where I share what I learn from the movie (movie spoiler) you shouldn’t carry one reading unless you don’t want to watch the movie.

Coincidentally, I watched the rom-com Ghosts of Girlfriends Past on my iPhone the next morning. The lead actor, Connor Mead played by Matthew Conaughey was the kinda super hot guy who could pick up any girl, have a one night stand and leave the next morning before the gal woke. His parents died young and he had a certain Uncle Wayne who taught him stuff.

Uncle Wayne: If there is one thing you learn tonight, it’s this. The power in a relationship lies with whoever cares less.

Uncle Wayne: One day you’re going to wake up with some chick spooning and thinking about love and at that moment you have got to get up, not walk, you don’t get your shoes, you run the hell out of there because someday you’re gonna get crushed!

Needless to say, he broke many hearts, including his childhood sweetheart Jenny Perotti (played by Jennifer Garner) At his younger brother’s wedding he kinda wrecked it by airing his opinions on love and then openly telling everyone that his brother slept with one of the bride’s maids.

Connor Mead: Love is magical comfort food for the weak and uneducated. Yeah, it makes you feel all warm and relevant but in the end it leaves you weak, dependant and fat!

Connor Mead: To me, marriage is an archaic and oppressive institution that should have been abolished years ago.

After being visited by ghosts of his ex-girlfriends, he learns his lesson and tries to salvage the wedding. His plea to the bride moved me so much and here it is:

Connor Mead: Listen to me, ok first off, I’m sorry about destroying your wedding cake. Going to second base with your mother. And knocking your dad unconscious right there and basically, breaking up your wedding. Sorry. That being said, I am begging you, begging you, don’t run away. You and Paul had something so rare alright, something so powerful. Don’t chicken out now.

Bride: Chicken out? He cheated!

Connor Mead: O get over it, it was years ago! And with some slutty friend of yours, a friend incidentally whom you are not even mad at. You know why? Because you don’t actually care. You love Paul so much you forgave him the second you’re hurt. And that’s what scares you.

Bride: You have no idea how I feel, no idea!

Connor Mead: Yes I do, I’ve been in your shoes. You know what? It scared the hell out of me too. What if she hurt me? What if she left me? What if she died? That’d be the end of me. So I cut it short, before she ever could. And you know what? It’s the biggest mistake I have ever made. And you’re making the same mistake right now and I’d be god-damned if I just sit by and watch. You’ve got to risk love Sandra! I didn’t and look at me, I’m a lonely ghost of a man. It doesn’t mean that you’re never going to get hurt but the pain you feel will never compare to the regret that comes from walking away from love.

Finally, the bride reconciled with her groom and they got married. And at the final toast:

Connor Mead: I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less. Nobody proves that better than my kid brother, Pauli. Brother, you give love to everyone and you require none in return. From this day on, I want to be more like you.

After watching the show, I started to realize I was hesitant about kids cos in some way I was fearful like Connor Mead I was fearful of being so bonded to someone that I can’t bear to hurt when I have to leave them. Having said that… I think I still need time to think about this… hahaha Mei Mei! Heard that?

Dog-eat-dog

Recently, I find myself again drowning in my pool of thoughts.  I forget to smile and am often not present in conversations. My mind is often distracted about some other thoughts which I have yet formulated conclusions (or responses) to. I need to take some control over my thought life.

2 Corinthians 10:5

New International Version

⁵We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

The Message

^3-6The world is unprincipled. It’s dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn’t fight fair. But we don’t live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

Please help me to take captive every thought and make it obedient to you.

Farmer Tales

Last night, Shuz and I sat up in our comfy bed switched off the lights and talked. It’s been sometime since we had something like this. I brought up the idea of migrating. To some place with a slower pace perhaps later in our lives. Shuz then brought me back to the time when we were in a coach on the way to Waterpia Theme Park during our honeymoon. We passed by a few farms and wondered to ourselves how awesome it’d be if we migrated to Korea and be vegetable farmers there. Life would be so simple. The only catch is…if both of us were vegetable or fruit farmers, who will take care of the rodents?! Shuz shuz…definitely not me.

Sister-In-Law

Happy Birthday Mei!

M esmerising

E smond

I rreplaceably

Marriage

notsyoR says:

there are some days after we quarrel that i feel scared… that this is going to be the rest of our lives

but there are other days where i think yes…. i love this commitment so much

i think it’s the after marriage first few mths which u eventually start to realise

©~i.is.davin~® says:

yea… but it’s like that i guess…

it’s a v different ball game now…

notsyoR says:

but overall i promote it la

good for personal growth

eventually u irk each other enough till there’s no choice but to practice genuine love

©~i.is.davin~® says:

heh… spoken with experience